Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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