drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
