it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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