just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
