I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
