I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
