Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
