ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
