when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
handjob tips. give me some.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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