How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
