i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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