You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
