Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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