Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You're like the curious george of whores
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
