Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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