i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
