Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
