I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
