If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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