how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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