You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
