Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
