Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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