You were right. It hurts to walk today.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think your dad took our porno
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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