it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
