My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
