I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
