..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
