my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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