Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
