You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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