Just mADE A PArabola og urine
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
