My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
