There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
