Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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