Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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