i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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