Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
