I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
