just come out here and I will go home with you...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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