We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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