we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
