Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
