so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
