don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
