he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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