Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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