Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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