I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
