Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
