: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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