He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
