There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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