He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
